Throughout my weekend in Houston, the Hubby's family were all very complimentary of my weight loss progress. Some of the comments, though, were a little off-putting.
There's the grandmother who says "you look great! You're not going to lose anymore weight are you? You're just maintaining, right?"
There's the FIL who says to Hubby - "Man, she's got a haircut, and she's losing weight....she's getting pretty Marketable! You better watch out!" (meaning i would all of a sudden leave my husband and become single.)
I know both were meant as a compliment, but it really took my head a while to get past the first-impression of each statement.
There's the other folks in the family who seem to be mentally taking stock of every bite i put in my mouth, with a gaze of "Wow, she's eating again" or "She's not really going to eat that" or "Shouldn't she be eating more?" (*note*: these are my interpretations, not actual mind-reading).
It feels like i'm under the microscope all the time.
Last night at Hubby's birthday dinner, we went to Texas Land and Cattle. It's a casual steakhouse (like an Outback), but with a Texas/cowboy theme decor. I chose the grilled chicken breast with steamed broccoli, salad with dressing on the side (no cheese).
The waitress quips (rather snidely) "Well, looks like someone's eating healthy tonight!" I used to work in this restaurant when i was in school, so i know what she's saying. Chicken is one of the cheapest things on the menu at a steakhouse. Think $9.99 (chicken entree) instead of $20.00+ (Steak). This means lower total bill, i.e. lower tip. Got it.
Maybe it's just my personality, but i can't imagine going to eat with someone/waiting on someone/ in general making an unsolicited comment about how "healthy" or "unhealthy", "good" or "bad" a food choice they are making.
Do you ever feel like you're under a microscope?
How do you cope with the Peanut Gallery comments along the way of your journey?
The Novel Is Out! So What Next?
1 week ago
ALL THE TIME. No Lie. Even at work, I get introduced as the girl who lost 100lbs. It's so hard to really accept the compliments when you feel like you are being judged. In fact, people at lunch make comments and say "oh, I don't want to sit next to you, you'll just eat a side salad and soup."
ReplyDeleteComes with the territory - doesn't make it right, but it will go away after people get it out of their system.
UGH...I don't even know how to cope with it besides just to smile. We are all human - I'm sure I've made remarks at some point in my life that have irked someone.
Was bowled over by the "getting pretty marketable" line. How about a little sensitivity, Pops? Maybe you can be in the market for some new in-laws.
ReplyDeleteI guess people mean well in general but really ought to think before they speak. Lately it seems that everyone thinks we're entitled to everything that's on their mind. No thank you! As the old saying goes, "If you can't say something nice...."
Ya know, I used to get reeeeeaally upset about those sorts of comments. Now, I find them rather humorous and rather motivating. Obviously, those comments are a reflection of the speaker's insecurities and a reflection that you are doing something that either intimidates other people, makes them a little jealous or a whole list of possibilites actually, but WHO CARES?! People will say whatever they have to say to make themselves feel better. Feel pity, not sadness. Unless it's a truly legit comment, laugh it off my dear! You're doing amazingly well Erin! So proud of you!
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